Written and narrated by Sandy ElChaar.
As we journey through life, our path is never entirely solitary. Even when we feel alone, we are always in a relationship with the world around us. Fellow travelers, those who accompany us along the way, symbolize the rich tapestry of our connections. Sometimes we walk together, offering support and sharing experiences, while at other times, we may find ourselves walking alone, reflecting on our own inner worlds. However, even in these moments of solitude, we are still in a fundamental form of relation with everything around us. This ontological connectedness is inevitable—we cannot escape it. Just by existing, we are in relation, whether or not we actively acknowledge it.
Relationships, therefore, exist on two levels. On one hand, they are an existential given. Wherever we are, we are in relation, be it with the people we pass by on the street or the person sitting next to us on the bus. There is an inherent relatedness that exists between all beings, even in the most impersonal of contexts. It is formal and instrumental, a basic awareness and acknowledgment of the other’s presence. This foundational level of relation forms the bridge upon which deeper connections can be built.
On the other hand, relationships can also be something we consciously take up and make personal. It is in these moments that relationships move beyond the inevitable and become a living bond that we actively nurture. To take up a relationship means to choose to engage, to turn towards the other and recognize them in their full being. It is an act of openness, where we allow the presence of the other to impact us, and in turn, offer them a space within ourselves. This creates a mutual exchange, where both individuals are emotionally present, and the relationship begins to take shape as something more than a simple framework.
The process of turning towards someone is an essential part of building meaningful relationships. It requires not just the acknowledgment of the other’s existence, but a deliberate choice to engage with them on a deeper level. In doing so, the relationship becomes a space of emotional connection and protection. This is where the relationship lives—it is no longer just an obligatory connection, but something active and alive, a bond where the well-being of the other matters to us.
Relationships, when taken up, are also deeply protective. They provide a safe space where we can be emotionally vulnerable and where the turning towards each other becomes easier. In good relationships, there is a sense of being invited to turn towards the other. The bond provides a grounding, a field where emotional exchanges can happen without fear. This can be true even in simple, everyday encounters, where the acknowledgment of another person—whether through a smile or a shared experience—creates a space for connection. In more intimate or developed relationships, this protection becomes even stronger, creating a reliable framework in which emotional openness and turning towards the other can flourish.
But for any relationship to thrive, we must also maintain a relationship with ourselves. The connection we have with our own thoughts, feelings, and body is the foundation upon which all other relationships are built. If we are not in tune with ourselves, we can only engage in functional or surface-level interactions with others. It is through self-awareness and openness to our own experiences that we can fully enter into relationships with others, bringing our true selves to the connection.
In this way, relationships are not just a source of support but also a means of self-discovery. Through our connections with others, we gain access to new parts of ourselves, learning how to balance our own needs with the presence of another. Whether in moments of shared joy or in times of struggle, relationships are the framework that allow us to turn towards life, to find meaning, and to feel truly connected.
As we walk through life alongside our fellow travelers, we are reminded that relationships are both a given and a gift. They are the inevitable bridge that connects us to the world, and when taken up consciously, they offer us the protection, connection, and meaning we seek. In the end, it is through relationships that we share our lives, turning towards each other in the mutual pursuit of understanding, growth, and belonging.
Reference: Längle, A. (2020). The 2nd Fundamental Motivation: The Fundamental Condition of Life – Student Manual. GLE-International, Vienna